Sunday, February 07, 2010 @ 10:02 PM
After service, I caught a glimpse of "ontological inversion" - a brief moment whereby I'm really know my identity in Christ. I really felt grateful to know a God whom I can count on instead of relying on my own strength. Majority of the time, I struggle to find Him real in my life and I couldn't tell if its the routine that makes Him look less surreal or is that I'm so easily worn out.
I paused and examined my thoughts, the intensity of my gratefulness was beyond words. I know that this fleeting moment of sanity will very soon be drowned when "I stepped back into the world." I knew for sure that as the new week begins, the struggle would once again hit the restart button and I would have to be very intentional in my journey with Him.
How do I not feel bruised and battered when Your word says I'm wonderfully and beautifully created but the people I meet, YOUR people puts me down from top to bottom - yeah and the latest one was that I've a moustache and it's creepy. Tell me? I've moved on from self pity to not wanting to feel anything at all. How do I live as though You are everything that I need when the world exalts money and status? Tell me? How? Everything is pushing me to become un-me.
