Monday, February 16, 2009 @ 9:20 PM
Alot of things (some exciting and some plain boring have been happening) but I just couldn't find the momentum to get the entry started.
I have resumed my chomping craze and I actually came to a point that I ate too much and my stomach started to rebel. Massive diarrhoea followed by 2 days of churning. Meat overdosed maybe?
I will hit the big 24 in a couple of months time but I don't feel 24. Do u feel your age? Btw maturity and feeling your age are two separate matters :) Is it really the denial syndrome within that deters us from accepting reality? The vast amount of responsibilities upon our shoulders and the numerous roles we have to play in life. Schizoprenic comes to mind!
As I age... I find myself in more limitations. I couldn't give as much as before. Exceeding short attention span, hurriedly prepared materials, lesser time to pen my thoughts and the high opportunity cost to do this instead of that. It is not so much of a "novelty" in life that consumes me of my time and strength. Rather it's the blend of the old and new that zap up my energy. Sometimes I really want to snuggle in bed and hide under the blanket. In essence, 90% burnt?
Well my distorted mentality tells me that... okie if you want to chaotah you might as well do a nice job. Don't waste it. Pretty much borrowed from the idea of don't waste your calories or make sure you really die and not be paralysed if you want to attempt suicide. Yes morbid for the latter but you get my point. Apparently, I'm not giving my best and I feel I'm disappointing the stakeholders involved. Yeap, that saddens me.
I long for my March and April break. That's the only break I can look forward too since I can't really wriggle my way out of other things...
Anyway something of a brighter note. I had a pleasant surprise today. Joel visited me and gave me a bouquet of roses. Hehheh major clearance to get rid of oversupply of vdae flowers? Albeit withering but I still love it :)
