Tuesday, January 13, 2009 @ 9:35 PM
It's all about You, You and You.Words fail me when it comes to thanking my friends God put in my life (another time for those sandpaper people).
Pretty much riding on an emotional coaster wave both yesterday and today and I can't seem to put a stop to feeling overwhelmingly upset with things. Human beings just have a way of finding things to be upset with yea?
I don't usually like to dump my emotions on people or rather lately I'm trying to learn to cope with them. Life is a lil different now... can't just simply be temperamental and blame it on pms.
Honestly, I don't know if this is God's way of comforting or reassuring me. I woke up with a song in my head.
God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each day
He will make a way, He will make a way
Well, somehow this song disappeared when my inner voice got louder and louder on my way to work. I had the urge to cry my eyes out (
just feel like crying with no apparent reasons, though I can easily find a few to make my crying totally valid) but I held back my tears simply bcos I know I won't be able to stop tearing.
After lunch, I found my way to SACC sanctuary and sat there for 30 mins. I needed that moment with You, just You only. People can offer so much but You offer much more? Peace not from the world, joy that doesn't depend on circumstances and unfailing love. I know I have to run to You. I sure hope it is a at least a good start that I come to You to have my heart stilled, not becos I ran out of options and therefore approach You. Hello God, pls put up with my whinings and complaints, I will work on my thanksgiving items soon.
I marvelled at knowing You, how You love and pursue me even before my physical body take form. A religion that was very distant becomes so close to heart that I never dreamt of sitting down in a santuary and pouring out my heart to You. Coming to You knowing that You are God and not some mystical being out there that I don't know for sure exist. It just quieten my heart gradually.
I like talking to You God, bcos You always allow me to complete my sentences and unload my burdens first before speaking to me. No interruption and definitely words of comfort or rebuke comes in place at Your time which is always perfect. I wonder if I'm born in the OT era, will I be zapped by lightning with the things I say.. hmm.
While I was flipping the Bible, I somehow landed on Psalm 42, which is a familiar psalm and got me slightly emo again. Though I haven't figured out what the whole psalm is about and it's not like all things bothering me will immediately take on a fairy tale ending, I have double assurance from You that You haven't lost the plot to my story.
