Sunday, March 11, 2007 @ 11:08 PM
another week gone by.
it was only a couple of days ago when i was furiously typing to finish up WIL. to be honest, i was more disgusted than being angry. yeah i complained n whined all the way cos i needed the distractions to take a breather. eh strange as it may sound, i think being angry is okie? i mean well as long as u control it and not let it dominate u. with my dear heart furiously pumping fresh blood n new o2 generated, anger has a way of keeping me alert n focused. it also leaves me completely drained and sick too. i have to say la.. abit hao lian.. heh heh... i didnt slp for 40 hrs. woot.
is this mere coincidence? should i be delighted? cecelia was sharing with me today tt God impressed upon her heart to be my mentor. my tired eyes lit up. she's someone whom im really comfortable with and had witnessed my complete brokeness. we both agreed to pray abt it if we want to take on the mentor-mentee thingy. im amazed by how God works... really.. i've always wanted beelan/cecelia to guide my in my walk.. and i already have one of them leading me in bs (:
i always have thoughts of settling down in another church. i always have the thoughts of
siam-ing church camp/youth camp cos i dun feel belong.i do doubt wad i believe strongly in. looking at phyliss and see how brillantly she shines for You.. makes me take a 2nd look at myself. have i lost the passion?
"When circumstances weakened my trust that God knew what was best for me, i held on to the lifeline of others' faith. Their loyal friendship and gentle words of encouragement helped me to go the distance, even in moments when numbing heartache made what they said meaningless. " You provide a way out whenever i want to give up.
i hope i get past this stage of stagnation..
*btw i dun think brainwashed cultist struggle alot with doing wad's really right.. they r jus simply adamant? ahem im not being brainwashed -iderrrtt- i just want to have a stand in what i believe and yes i struggle damn hard with whole load of issues. just like u struggle resisting a 2nd scope of icecream, hot charsiew bao, that stylish tag heure watch or wadever...
