Tuesday, January 30, 2007 @ 9:34 PM
I was really looking forward to the reunion dinner. My first and last reunion dinner with you. I really wanted to bake and let you try the new year goodies. It's all impossible now.
Mum received a phone call this morning, updating her on grandpa's condition. Mum told me that he was too weak to eat and that reminded me of a dream i had in the early morning.
In my dream, i vaguely rem that mum told me grandpa passed away and i cried badly.
It's definitely wasnt appropriate to relate to her such stuff. On the other hand, i feared that it might come true. Heard of the saying that you have to say out the details of yr bad dream in order to "break the spell"? Im not supertitious but that thought surfaced.
Fastforward to afternoon while i was on my way to meet neighbour.... I received the news. i tried.. i really tried to hold back my tears. my first public crying appearance on sbs.
Im really thankful that i spent the day mugging with neighbour instead of being alone. Im thankful for friends who simply offer their presence. I know how vulnerable i will be if im left alone. Appreciate the babes for being concerned as well.
I dreaded going home. Seeing how sad my mum is, is another blow. What triggered the 2nd round of crying buckets was knowing that grandpa was calling for me several times before he breathed his last. I'm sorry.. i didnt make it to see you.
Im infact too devastated to be pissed with tt ass who lives opps me. Somebody who didnt even want to pay his last respect, somebody who didnt offer to send my mum to uncle's place (toa payoh to jurong is hell far), heard me wrongly and thought i said none of his business when i said i accompanied mum to the bus stop and then asked eff up question like why i need to accompany her to the bus stop. are u stupid or stupid?
eff u. no im not pissed. jus overwhelmed with disappointment and disgust. he must have obviously forgotten who paid for his car loan, repairs n debts cant expect any brains to be found in an ass, i suppose?
