Saturday, November 18, 2006 @ 11:44 PM
i feel like a child whose father wants her to learn how to walk, to take faith that when she falls, her father would be there to reach out his hand to give her help or lift her up from her fall?
im so overwhelmed by this fear that it temporary paralyzes me. maybe its the fear of failure or maybe its my 1st time "on my own" doing something so major in church.
definitely from time to time im comforted by Your people and Your presence. (okie im guilty of speeding thru my qt and i have short term memory of the verses that speak to me unless i write it down.)
i dunno...
just bcos i have a flair for cooking/baking and an interest to play with kids and that kinda set the path that i have to be in sunday sch? im not questioning this on the argumentative basis but just wondering..
it's like some people are flabbergasted when they know that i adore cooking/baking, help out in sunday school and im automatically classified as a potential mummy to be. hey im not demure la okie? i'm not a stepford wife loh. 1 of the reasons why i "escaped" from navigators was that i dun wan to quit my job, stay at home and be a homemaker ( most of the pple i have met are like tt so i concluded on that basis when i was 18.) im naturally a career minded person? well well i mean yeah its not necessary to quit yr job and take care of the family although it is ideal? we will talk abt tt when im experiencing motherhood....
and today.. at the sunday school meeting.. i felt naturally out of place with all the mothers and im absolutely clueless with most of the things on the agenda. i asked myself what am i doing here? do You want me to serve in this ministry? im absolutely intimidated by the fact that i cannot take sunday school teaching lightly...
anyway... im greatly encouraged by cecilia and kimlian and all the mothers who have been praying for me and making me feel comfortable (:
maybe one day i will be transformed into a demure lady who speaks softly and sweetly (yikes). that one day would come as a one day only.
last but not least. it has been a fabulous meeting 4d n 1d week. im hooked on sudoku and subway.
