Sunday, October 01, 2006 @ 8:15 PM
someone said this to me.. "You are not as strong as you seem to be"
well.... i'm not xena the warrior princess and i dun intend to be one.
i know im vulnerable to "attacks". even if i have stumbled, fell or get myself hurt in the process. i make sure at the end of a certain time frame.. i will pick myself up and walk again.
spent my weekend at the saf yacht club. it was something different and i really enjoyed everything (minus the part tt i dragged myself to e sharing session cos i was so tired and i really wanna slp).
wasn't really supportive of the split of the youth group and i predicted a j-curve effect taking place. well not that i look down on the ministry or God's people.. anyway j-curve effect has taken place and i think things are beginning to look brighter.
few yrs back i felt i was too young to do anything so i prefer to let other people run things while i rest in my comfort zone. yea the art of evading responsibilities. i have the habit of looking back and regretting and one day i decided to switched focus.. "to look back from the future"
so wad now sharon? do u wanna look back from the future and regretted tt u have been wasting your youth away engaging and indulging in stupid worthless things?
obvious ans is no rite? but sometimes haha i do like to
nuah and engage in stupid things. you noe the live for the moment concept does appeal at different life stages.
do you noe why i keep pushing the baptism thought away. consistency is an issue to me. i wanna cling on to Him at all seasons, not just only when things look rosy. i dun wanna flick Him off like some kinda dirt (well i do tt pretty often) i dun wanna be baptised and still live the old life. EH and the list goes on. okie pretty lousy reasons i noe.. well well gist of it.. im afraid of commitment and i dun wanna entertain the thought of
backsliding after baptism.
nuff said. we can argue till the cows come home and i think cows who are lost dun come home in reality. tt means we can talk abt the above forever!
and i wonder how i wanna live my life.
jus imagine...
some kinda divine intervention from Him is directing you to His embrace, drawing you nearer to Him, showing you shortcuts instead of letting you go thru the maize. He deliberately put obstructions along the way so tt u can avoid those routes tt He doesn't want you to go. On top of that He gives you the freedom to choose if u wanna take the shortcut.
pretty similar to rules, they are there to protect you from harm n not to restrict you..
isn't tt ideal? isn't tt brilliant. eh sometimes after rationalizing.. you still go ahead and do stupid things rite?
-simple faith needed-
