Wednesday, October 04, 2006 @ 8:11 PM
daisy's mind ebbed back to wad lily shared a few weeks ago.
daisy was able to relate with lily's experience but she couldnt quite able to identify hers.
today marks the day she identified the problem: l.o.w.s.e.l.f.e.s.t.e.e.m. she never thought that the problem lies with her till today when history repeats itself for like the zillion times? she starts to ponder issit the people or HER?
she rem vaguely those days she struggled with the poor image she had; plump, nerdy, unable to articulate well, intellectually low and not sporty or sporting enough.
it's amazing she survived her adolescences without resorting to self inflicting injuries to numb the pain she was going thru. o well she nearly turned anorexic... her weight was the only thing she felt she could control?
though now she has managed to evolve quite a fair bit. she still wrestle with low self esteem. she based her self worth on how much she knows, wad others think of her or wad she thinks otherws would think of her.
you can also say that she's contracted chronic busyness as a result of low self esteem. she has to be occupied with something/anything or else low self esteem sets in.
sigh.. countless moments where she masked her emptiness with wide grins and lame jokes.
*flashback
she left her seat and made her way to the toilet. she knows there are a couple of christian booklets at the corner and she wonders if there is one that has self esteem. her gaze shifted up and her eyes caught hold of a title that says "Self Esteem". hmm divine intervention maybe?
part II another time.. brain dead.
In Christ alone
will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I overcome
Oh I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal
To the grace by which I stand
Chorus:
In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone
In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
And only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor
Than just to know Him more
And to count my gains
But losses to the glory of my Lord
