There�s a lot to give thanks for.

I�m still contemplating on my overseas education. I�m equally worried abt leaving mum all alone just as she�s worried abt me all alone in a foreign land. I did wonder before that if I was born earlier and both my parents were still in their previous jobs, pecuniary concerns aren�t really a problem. Well if that really happens, I guess I probably be another spoilt brat taking my education for granted.

I believe the situation right now made me appreciate my parents especially my mum much more and I will take things more seriously than before.

**

I don�t wanna sound like a whiny child or a "depressant" pill and im not feeling depressed though im hit by the crimson wave.

define: depressant

sedative: a drug that reduces excitability and calms a person

define: anti depressant

alleviates depression

so am i supposed to put it as i dun wan to be an anti anti depressant pill to depict that im not a suicidal pill? anyway wadever.

Mixed emotions ( 7 yrs) resuscitated from its dormant state. You know how nature works? When a dormant volcano wakes up from its long sleep, it might have quite a substantial detrimental impact...

I dun wanna sound and feel like a bitch. I dun wanna start the criticism session all over again. I dun want and yes full stop to it.

The 14th year of my life was a phrase in my life that perhaps caused a dramatic change in me. I never thought having a minor crush would have such serious consequences. It was as if my tears never got tired of streaming down my cheeks.. it was as if all the mental torture inflicted on me never stopped.. it felt like I was the only one suffering. As if all these weren�t enough, I still had to put up with her insensitivity and her perpetual unnecessary updates on their relationship, encouraged her ( when it was a girl sch thing to simply slap her) and yea I wish I had the courage to shove her away or yell at her. So different from the Sharon bully you see now?

Everything seriously felt dark and hopeless.

it stuck me again that my life has indeed changed after I know Christ personally. I no longer feel dark or hopeless though I still cry a lot but I have a hope and an eternal euphoria that I�m not able to fully describe it but I know I have it.

Thank God for Christ. Amen!