Sunday, October 09, 2005 @ 9:11 PM
you know.. when i read or heard abt people's lives being transformed and they experience that joy tt comes from within when people accepted Jesus .. it kinda left me encouraged yet a tinge of disappointment.
i couldnt really rem what were my thoughts + emotions at that point in time when i accepted Him. I did take time to consider and i said the sinners prayer silently (1st time) and yea i told pat tt i accepted Jesus. i felt that there's really nothing to lose if i dun like this religion and yea i can always "escape".
well i really never thought that much abt it back then..
im abt spirtually 3 yrs old.. and my walk with Him has been
ok... there are times when i felt
wah-seh especially after labouring for God in camps or activities and i wanna do more. last year was infact a pretty active year compared to this.. Eversince i started working, it is really tough to live as a discliple who hungers for God.. i really felt sian in my christian journey.. not much joy from Him, nothing much to do in church and it felt like im slowly distanting myself from everything related to God.
i know that not every believers' conversion would be a breathtaking and earthshaking one but i honestly wanted to experience that "breathtaking and earthshaking moment" and i did today :)
initially i lacked the courage to move my butt up from my seat and stepped forward. i felt abit awkward though..yeah i seriously wished God sent his angels to give me a kick.
still was a little apprenhensive and i didn't want to just stay on my sit to pray and yes thank God for sweeming for asking that millon dollar question and we went. the other time when pastor vincent called for a response, i felt my heartbeat accelerated and i know God was telling me something but i chose to ignore it. this time the exact thing happened and i believe God was telling me to go...just go...
i guess that was truly tears of joy and i dunno y tears just started to stream down my face.
Lord, i dare not say i will do this this this, that that that for you but i want you to use me..
