Sunday, June 26, 2005 @ 7:39 PM
it's an extremely long entry..
if u've been readin my blog.. you would have realised that my past entries were about work, meeting friends, work again and ocassionally God is mentioned. My life evolves round work and friends ever since i started working. I know i know i need to spend quaility time with God and so this morning i wonder whether getting ready for church on sundae has become a rountine instead of a responsibility. Humans could be pre programmed in a way as in your body gradually get used to waking up at 630 on weekdays and 720 on sundays. It's just automatic.
YES the thought of being a pretty candy wrapper christian terrifies me. Others look at me as if im doing okie but in actual fact there are stuff deep down that's bothering me which i choose not to say cos its personal. On the other hand, it is normal that we experience spiritual ups and downs. BUT BUT BUT is that issue that bothers me initially which obviously caused me to feel spiritually down really solved or is just chucked aside cos i know that His Word brings me comfort and sunshine. Wad im trying to say is that when we are at the spirtually downhill we can always look up and see God's faithfulness - we know that He is there to shine your darkest path... so am i taking things for granted?
i'm scared that im abusing my Joy in Him and all this sunshine im seeing is artifically created by my emotions which has the ability to turn on the lights brighter or dimmer. Of cos i noe God is there though i cant physically see Him. Simply rephrase, just like when night falls, we can't deny the existence of the sun though its light aint shining on the part of earth im living.
Stepped into church and service started in no time. I dunno if its pms but the lyrics of the songs sung melted my heart and i cried. Lynn commented on my hair AGAIN. She asked if i squeezed out half of the conditioner again. NO! the thing is i din even use conditioner today. I said to her : Im sorry that my hair smells so good la, if you dun like then you go infront and sit. Instead, she pointed and told me to sit on the floor. We used the same shampoo btw just that she dun smell hers but mine. Know wad for a moment, i stopped breathing with the mentality that my hair would stop breathing out so lynn might not be able to sniff my shampoo smell. Alrite tts stupid.
I like the sermon.. it's abt honouring our parents. My ego has made me a mute when it comes to saying I love you to my parents. Maybe bcos of the society im living in and the way im brought up..we dun exhibit too much of some lovey dovey actions or say mushy cushy language. I cant rem when i stopped saying I love you to them..
I thank God how he has prepared my heart way before for this sermon. How much i appreciated wad my parents has done for me. If you think it's sucky to work and have to tolerate all the humilations when you only worked for a few mths.. pls put your raging thoughts on hold and look at how many years your parents have slogged to provide for you..
Got home and yeah dad was watching tv ( im trying to refrain from using
as usual cos mum thinks he's glue to the tv). Im trying to talk to daddy more these days. The Tv technician came to repair the tv. Miraculously, the tv was okie, no flickering images no lines dancing. It was as if the tv knew that somebody is coming to fix it and it behaved all tame and well. Dad and i laughed.
