Monday, May 02, 2005 @ 12:07 PM
Sufferin from insomia once again....
Yeah one of the reasons was bcos my body was finally given the permission by me to switch to slumber mode. Got home abt 4.30 am? Could have reached home slightly earlier but yea neither lj nor i recognised the way to toa payoh ( im bad at giving directions). Well thank gdness he din strangle me and was really patient. I've heard of his reputation of sayin No way when it comes to sending gals home and obviously a bigger NO WAY when he's not familiar with toa payoh..
I must say i had such a fun nite that even though im dead beat but i jus couldnt dozed off...
the flashback of wad happened begins.....
was praying that God would speak to me so directly regarding the issues that were bothering me and during worship i saw this verse abt forgiving your brother. hmm cant find the exact verse i want online.. i thot i saw it was in 1st cor.. anyway yeah lemme noe the verse if u noe wad im referin to.
at the same time i turned to lynn and lynn turned to me and we said:
Lynn: this verse is for u
Sharon: this verse is for me
I'm really glad that most of my churchmates aren't "pestering" me to go for church camp. Really thank God for their understanding that i jus landed a new job and it isn't tt nice to go on no pay leave. I give thanks to God for their sensitivity cos yeah jus one more person who ask me to take leave for church camp and give me that PRAY LA and rejects all my reasonings with regards to the situation im in... i gonna be so fedup. Im aware that i could pray and God would provide an alternative to this but lemme tell you my situation:
1) have already agreed with fiona van tt we wld go for a taiwan trip 1 yr ago.
even this trip gonna be compromise due to my work and yea i dun wanna go for no pay leave
2) i have to take another off day in july for grad ceremony.
told evan tt im not able to make it for church camp but we gonna go out after her mid year exams!
abt 4pm i got up from my nap and get ready to attend yishan dardar's 21st bdae party. I was the 1st np classmate to reach again ( same thing happened on hidayat's bdae) and i have to appear occupied by eating. - unoccupied time feels longer than occupied-
Finally jeanne reached.. phew... and hahah i started eatin again. The guys came really late at abt close to 9. Hmm jeanne n i were talkin abt our 21st bdae celebration.. seriously im not really tt keen to celebrate my bdae with a crowd of people made up with different cliques.. the logic is tt it gonna be too messy with frens from pri sch, sec, poly, church, ex colleagues and maybe uni pals.
Party ended and we went orchard to catch a movie. We were like a bunch of silly idiots. We travelled from cine to lido and back to cine. WHY? lj watched almost everything at cine and refused to watch infections at lido, so we went back to watch XXX at cine. It's not a porn movie btw.. though the title of the movie seems to suggest it. Joined them for supper after the movie and they were talkin abt everything under the sun.
When i got home.. there are voices in my head givin me all kinda funny instructions. Voices tt urged me to go party have fun, enjoy it b4 u r too old and another tt said No, why are you trying to pretend or shape yourself to be somebody tt you are not. This is not gonna make you feel happy and infact you gonna feel worst than b4. Come to think of it, i have successfully put into application wad i have learned in masterlife by identifying the voices in me eh?
romans 12:1 - 2 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will."
i dun wanna conform any longer to the pattern of this world, i dun wanna be a contemporary christian!
