Wednesday, June 30, 2004 @ 12:56 PM
Time passed pretty fast eh? Im already in the 1st semester of my 3rd year. True enough that im excited abt what's instored for me but the bo chup sydrome seems to be consuming me (lol)
My holidays kinda din turn out the way i expected it to be. It was supposed to be a vacation that allows me to catch up with God's word but i ended up slogging and clubbin (massive clubbing). Excessive clubbing that made me a regular customer of places like chinablack and mdm wong during the hols... Well yea its definitely fun with people like michelle, candy, scott and company. But somehow getting so in touched with the wordly substance makes me lost and confused. Well i dunno whether it is good or bad that it happened as it somehow allowed me to do some thinking of what i wanna do with my life.
Do i wanna be part of the world that go partying so often that i'm lost from God's sight?
Would I be like those girls who get involved with One nite Stand with clubbing guys?
What are the potential troubles that might occur? All these thoughts kept spinning on my head.
Well clubbing is fine to a certain extent but im going beyond that limit that makes me ponder whether im placing other priorities over God. I'm tired of the image of being an angelic church lady in the day and some party animal without fur at night. I definitely do not have a split personality but i struggle b'cos i'm afraid that i might be doing things that pissed God off and ultimately regretted doing it.
Yea there are people who see me as a gal who noes what she's doing but wad happen if one day i did something that shocked people. Everyone would be like o mine? Why did sharon do that i thot she's rational enough to not do that kinda stuff? It would be like a situation whereby a rich and intelligent kid stole something. Okie lemme use a sharon illustration : I always remind myself that i'll never fall for a clubbing guy simply bcos most guys from there are jerks who see girls as some easy catch to bed. What if one day i allow my emotions to overtake my logic and fall for a non christian and who knows pre-marital sex? Can you imagine the shit i'm sinking in if that occured?
